A few adult jokes to make you laugh..

here are some adult jokes to make you laugh today on this dreary cold day. hope you enjoy these for I did and now I must go pee since I laughed so hard....lol



Number 1
>
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were
> sitting at the
> breakfast table one morning when the wife says,
> "Just think, fifty years
> ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table
> together." "I know,"
> the old man said "We were probably sitting here
> naked as a jaybird fifty
> years ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive
> some old times."
> Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat
> down at the table. "You
> know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly
> replied, "My nipples are
> as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
> "I wouldn't be
> surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee
> and the other is in
> your oatmeal."


Number 2

> Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been
> employed there for a number
> of years when he came home one day to confess to his
> wife that he had a
> terrible compulsion He had an urge to stick his
> penis into the pickle
> slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex
> therapist to talk
> about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.
> He vowed to
> overcome the compulsion on his own.
> One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his
> wife could see at once
> that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong,
> Bill?" she asked. "Do
> you remember that I told you how I had this
> tremendous urge to put my
> penis into the pickle slicer?"
> "Oh, Bill, you didn't!" she exclaimed. "Yes, I did."
> He replied. "My
> God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill.
> I mean, what
> happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got
> fired too."


Number 3

> One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the
> husband starts rubbing his
> wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry
> honey, I've got a
> gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay
> fresh." The
> husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later,
> he rolls back over
> and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist
> appointment tomorrow
> too?"


Number 4

> A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he
> does, his elbow goes
> into her breast. They are both quite startled The
> man turns to her and
> says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
> breast, I know you'll
> forgive me" She replies, "If your penis is as hard
> as your elbow, I'm in
> room 221."